Honesty

Continuing with our series on the chapter “Velcroed for Growth” from the book Contrarians Guide to Knowing God: Spirituality for the Rest of Us by Larry Osborne…

The third accelerator Osborne refers to when discussing the purpose of small groups is honesty. Osborne writes,

If I want to grow spiritually, I must be honest enough to let people in on the issues I’m facing and the reality behind the image I portray. I also need friends who are honest enough to tell me the truth—even when I don’t want to know it, or it hurts to hear. (p. 67)

He goes on to say this type of honesty is hard to come by. Of the three accelerators, it’s my opinion that this is by far the hardest to accomplish.

The kind of honesty we need is the kind we can only get from close and transparent relationships. We need brothers and sisters in Christ who know us well enough ask those difficult questions; the things other people may find offensive. We need brothers and sisters that love us enough to be honest.

Typically, we don’t find these kind of relationships in a once a week visit to church. When we see people in church, the common greeting is “How are you?” Our typical response is “I’m good!” Is that the honest truth? Perhaps. When we ask others how they are doing, do we really want to know or are we just being sociable? I would venture to say most of the time we are just being sociable. In a public setting where we see people only occasionally, this is appropriate. But if we are serious about our spiritual growth, we need more than just casual relationships. We need relationships with people we can be honest with.

We find this kind of relationship in small groups. Over time, people in a small group come to know each other intimately. They develop close and transparent relationships; one in which people have trust and love for each other. In these relationships, people really do want to know how the people in their group are doing. In order for us to have this type of relationship, we must be vulnerable and transparent; and in this world, that goes against the norm. Paul teaches, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” Romans 12:2 (English Standard Version). There comes a time when we need to ignore what the world thinks and focus on what God thinks.

Honesty is not easy; it means being vulnerable and transparent. Nevertheless, that’s exactly what we need to continue to grow spiritually.

Next time, I’ll wrap up this look at “Velcroed for Growth.” Until then…

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  1. Dave Samples
    January 14, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Good series, Jim. Churches have not traditionally done very well with honesty. We tend to prefer the facade. I believe that churches that allow honesty are seeing the kind of biblical koinonia that we all desire.

  2. Jim Harger
    January 14, 2009 at 3:24 pm

    Thanks, Dave. I agree with you 100%. -jim

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